I’ve been waiting my whole life
For someone to save me
For something to inspire me
To move pas this life I am stuck in
It’s like I am in a trance. One foot stuck in reality and the other in a world of magic. Just beyond my reach is another universe full of potential and options and a life guilt free.
How do I get there?
I think I know that I have to stop waiting. I could be the magical me if I hadn’t waited. I have wanted so much but I had so many things I thought would have to come first. I can’t talk to them, I cannot go there, I cannot try that. First I have to graduate, first I have to be beautiful. I need to lose the weight to be happy, I need to have the hair, just like theirs, to enjoy a hand running through it. A body cannot lay next to mine unless mine looks like hers. Don’t go to that class, they will hate you. Don’t say what you think, they will judge you. My fear of my otherness and wrongness bathed my heart until it broke.
I know that I have to stop waiting but I don’t know how.